The goal of any surgery is to come out better than you were when you went in, no one likes to think about the pain that comes along with that or the obstacles that may stand in the way of you reaching your bigger, better future.
Preparing for or dealing mentally with or for any traumatic event is a strange and overwhelming time so its only natural that certain things don't enter your mind. For me my mind was fixated so heavily on the actual surgery and my long term future, that what was going to happen directly afterwards was the farthest thing from my mind. So when I woke up after my surgery on Friday I had no concept that I had been asleep since Thursday morning. It is still strange to me that there is an entire day that I cannot account for. When you stop and think about it, it is very logical that you will not be awake immediately after such major surgery, however the reality when you wake up nearly 24 hours later in a completely different place with wires and machines attached to you is a very sobering reality check.
If you've watched any type of medical show you would know the very romanticised after surgery ideal they portray, sitting up in bed with perfectly curled hair and perfect fresh makeup.. no. The reality is you wake up connected to multiple wires and machines, including but not limited to IV's, heart monitors, and yes, the dreaded catheter. While it is not as glamorous as TV would have you believe the one thing they did get right is the smiling nurses that are there with you, though strangers, it is comforting to have a warm friendly face there when wake up. I had a particular nurse who was definitely my favourite, but all my nurses were fantastic. and, if your hospital is like mine hopefully they show you around beforehand so at least you have some bearing of were the hell you are.
The one post op recovery surprise that was the biggest shock to me was the fact I was unable to walk, not because I was paralysed per say but because my body was adjusting to a new normal. My condition meant that the top half of my body had a higher blood pressure than the bottom half of my body for 19 years, and now it had to learn to function with the new pressures. or like my doctor described it, my head was feeling deprived and my feet were having a party. When you add the pain with the fact I had also been through a big physical trauma and due to the type of surgery, the extent of disturbance that my organs had gone trough plus the heart lung bypass, I was struggling to catch my breath when standing or sitting up for any length of time. It all just took time.
Oh and by the way, not to be graphic but, all of your "fluids" will be measured for about a week, yes they actually keep track of how often you pee, which is, well.. lets just say you get to know your nurses very intimately. but hey they help you shower so, the trains already let that station, huh?
As difficult as it can be, it is important to trust the process and that the doctors and nurses are fantastic at what they do and you are in the best place you can be. Remember not to rush into doing things just because you think you should be further along in your recovery than you are, the body doesn't recover as quickly when its in pain so rest take your time and be content in the knowledge you are badass warrior that survived Open Heart Surgery.
Jess xx
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