Scar and Body Image Week will have a different meaning for everyone, but the one thing we all have in common is that what ever the scar may be, it is apart of your story and you should never ever feel ashamed or feel the need to hide it.
My scar has quickly become a part of who I am, I sometimes forget it's there, then I see it and get flooded with all the emotions over again. Having a scar such as mine as a young woman has come with trials a tribulations far beyond what I would have ever dreamt.
By far the biggest hurdle has been my self esteem. My self confidence has never been high, I have never really found anywhere that I truly belong or truly feel at home. I have this terrible habit, where when ever I start to get comfortable I wait for the universe to flip and smack me down for it, I have never allowed my self to be content in one spot for any length of time. So when I first saw the massive scar I had on my back (explanation of scar location in previous posts) I believed this was just one more reason for me to stand out and not fit in.
The way we think about our selves has become so vital to people these days that it is almost as if as a society we are constantly searching for validation and admiration. There is so much pressure, pressure at school, pressure at home but perhaps the biggest pressure of all comes from social media. Social media is possessing the minds of young people to be smart and skinny and beautiful and all these things and if you give in to all these things, eventually you loose a part of who you are.
When I first became a part of the heart community, despite all I had just gone through and how incredible it was I survived it, I was self conscious about my story, that I didn't really belong because my story wasn't the biggest, because I wasn't the sickest. In reality I have just as much right to be there as anyone else. I am strong, I am brave, I am a heart warrior and no one can take that away from me.
My scar has taught me a lot of things over the last year and a bit, it has taught me not to let anyone or anything define who I am. it has taught me that the opinions of other people don't have to have an impact if you don't want them to, but the biggest thing it has taught me is that I am so much stronger than I ever thought I could be and though my body is scarred, my soul had never been wiser.
It has taken a long time for me to reach this point and there is definitely a long long way to go, but now I know I can face what ever lays ahead.
Jess xx
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